Change Takes Time

I have always valued productivity and pushed myself to continue functioning, even when I don’t feel like it. I once went to a training class when I learned that according to a certain personality test I am a type B personality which is the one that wants to be a type A personality but just isn’t. Type B wants to have things structured and be on top of things, like a type A personality is, but they also have a part of them that doesn’t care enough to always follow through with it. Often a B personality doesn’t have the same follow through or may be too disorganized to do what they want to do all the time. That is so… me. I care at some point in the day then I get tired and don’t care anymore but then when I care again I feel like I failed. It so often I am left feeling like I am not living up to my own standards. I get hard on myself I look around me and things are not all together.

The more kids I have and the more responsibilities that keep getting added to my plate, the more and more I realize that life cannot be that way. There are so many curve balls that come our way, that we really cannot stay on top of everything. I have learned over the years I have to let myself off the hook. And friend, so do you.

I have realized that an expectation to be something that I am not, has created stress that affects me and my family. When I reflect on my life, I often want too things to change, right now, and that it is overwhelming. I have had to stop analyzing so much at one time. I have learned that I have had to take one thing at a time. I need to focus on changing one area of my life at a time. Friend, don’t beat yourself up thinking you can change everything at one time.

One minor change that has helped me feel more organized and on top of things is finding a system that works for the laundry so that when I am behind, I do not see it all the time. I keep it in the laundry room. I put small shelves and a chair in the laundry room and I keep it all in there until the kids do “deliveries” to put things away, one pile at a time, instead of having clean laundry baskets of clean but unfolded clothes or folded clothes that never get put away.

The reality is that, I WILL always be behind on the laundry. That is the nature of laundry. Once I got used to this system and it had been working, then I could focus my attention on something else. We have also tried a system for cleaning that we clean for 10 minutes before and after the kids go to bed to keep up. It stuck for some time but then when life gets busy, especially when the pandemic hit, we have gotten away from being consistent with it but; I have learned- that is okay.

If you are like me, you want an instant solution to a chronic problem in your life, but life does not work that way. We want change, but we want it to happen right now and we don’t want to have to put the effort in to change it. Friend, Life is more complicated than that and we cannot change it all at once. There is no instant answer, it all takes lifestyle changes.

We are always in a balancing act, and that is okay. If I had to point out one lesson that God has helped me learn during the pandemic of 2020 it is that it is okay to let myself off the hook. It is okay if I don’t get it all done. It is okay if the kids watch too much TV. It is okay if my house is a mess. It is okay if the kids have to fish through a pile of unmatched socks each morning. It is easy to focus on all the things we feel that we are failing. But what if that doesn’t change right now? What if it takes time to develop systems that you can consistently follow? Can you let yourself off the hook? What if God wants to change something else in your life? Seek God in the struggle. Spend time in prayer because God will help you prioritize what steps to take in your life today.

Friend, I hope this encourages you to let yourself off the hook. Enjoy your messy house and your mountain of laundry. Enjoy the time you have with your kids and your family. Pray that God will help you focus on the right things today and not be distracted by feeling of failure and stress. Things that you want to change or be on top on will happen eventually, but in the meantime let yourself off the hook because change takes time.